Rangiku, Toshiro, and Maury
by BurgerKingDrive-By
Summary: One man stands between the forces of Chaos and Destruction. Will he be able to bring Peace to a relationship that is disintegrating? Will he be able to help Rangiku Matsumoto and Toshiro Hitsugaya? Or will his efforts be in vain?


"Welcome back to the Maury Show. Our next guest is Rangiku who claims her baby-daddy left her and their 1 year-old child because of rumors he heard at work. Let's take a look."

The studio and TV audience watch a recorded interview with Rangiku.

 ** _"Muh name is Rangiku and muh baby-daddy dump me and my kid 'cause of #$! rumors he heard at work. Dey git in his head 'bout how I be sleeping around and stuff. That %$ ! ain't true. When I got pregnant, he told me he wuz gonna take care of me! That #$! believes those $%# & at work than his own woman! I ain't no hoe! Wat really hurts iz dey be sayin' our kid ain't his. Dat's #!$ Dat's his kid! How ah'ma gonna raise 'im without him? Toshiro iz time to be a man and keep yo promise and quit listenin' to dem #$! at work!"_**

"Please welcome Rangiku to the show!", says Maury.

Audience enthusiastically applauds.

"So, tells us. How did you two meet?"

"Well, we both work together in Soul Society. Imma Lieutenant and he's muh Captain. We work as Soul Reapers."

"I, see. So this is a work relationship that developed into something else?"

"Yeah, basically we went out one time and had us a couple of drinks and one thing led to anudah and I got pregnant."

Audience laughs and Maury chuckles.

"In other words, alcohol was the ultimate ice breaker"

"Yea."

Audience roars in laughter.

"So before and after this incident, were you seeing anybody besides Toshiro?"

"No, sir. Toshiro iz and waz the only guy I wuz with. He da only one who got me pregnant!"

"Then why doesn't he want to admit that's his child?"

A picture of the child is shown on the TV screen on the stage and the audience goes, "Ahh!"

"Cause he be listenin' to &%$! rumors at work! Dey be sayin' how imma hoe and dat kid ain't his and #%&. Look, at him!"

She points to the picture in the TV screen in the stage.

"He haz his eyes and lips. Dats his kid!"

"So you hope that this paternity test will prove to Toshiro that's his child?"

"Yes, Maury. DNA don't lie! Dats wat the Discovery Channel told me!"

"Alright, let's bring Toshiro to the stage!"

The audience erupts into loud boos when Toshiro walks into the stage.

Toshiro and Rangiku quickly start cursing each other. Rangiku almost throws a punch, but security is there to stop her and separate the two.

"Have we calmed down? We want to get to the truth, okay."

"Yes", both answer and sit down.

"Toshiro, tell us why don't you want to admit your the father of Rangiku's child?"

"Well, you see Maury. I wuz drunk when it went down. I don't recollect anything!"

The audience gasps and boos.

"No, no. Fo' realz, mahn. It's like diz Maury. I go on a date with her and we git drunk, and the next thing I know, I wake up nahked in a bed at a love hotel. Alone."

The audience gasps in surprise.

"So your saying, you can't be the father because you were drunk and don't remember what happen during the encounter?"

"Yea, dats rite, Maury. So, 'bout a month after dis happen she tells me at work, 'cause we work together, dat she's pregnant and im da baby-daddy!"

Audience erupts into a "Ohhh!"

"How do I know fo' sure dat kid iz mine! She had another dude she wuz seein' before we dated and dat %&# dumped her !$ %."

Maury turns to Rangiku,

"Is this true?"

"Dat wuz a long time 'go, Maury!"

"How long?"

"Two years ago. He was turnin' his life 'round, but he fell in wit a bad crowd and got himself killed!"

Audience gasps.

Maury turns to Toshiro.

"Her ex is dead and she says you were the only she was with when conception took place, do you have any hard evidence to prove she's a cheater?"

"Nah, Maury. Look, before we got together there wuz all deez rumors. I know she got a drinkin' problem but dat didn't matter to me at dat time. I loved her at that time. I thought we had somethin' special and she would change."

Audience goes "Ahhh".

" But I wuz a fool! I ain't no playa! I go out hard 100% and 'spect back 100%. Imma loyal mahn! It angers me hearing how she be goin' behind muh back and cheating on me. Da way deez rumors paint her, she be goin' round the block so many times, she might might as well change her name to Daytona 500!"

Audience erupts in a "Ohhhhh!"

Rangiku curses at Toshiro. Toshiro curses back.

Maury tries to calm them down.

"If the test says you are the father, will you take responsibility, Toshiro?"

"Yez, sir. I will. But I can never be with her. It's ovah."

"Let's find out!"

The audience erupts into cheers and applause.

A large manila envelope is given to Maury. He takes it and opens it.

"Toshiro, in the case of Rangiku's one-year old child...you are **NOT THE FATHER!"**

Rangiku runs aways screaming and crying from the stage all the way to the green room. The audience is shocked but erupts into cheers as Toshiro does a double back flip, slaps his chest and points to the audience and says:

"DATS RRRRRITE! DATS WUT IM TALKIN' 'BOUT!"

Maury is in the green room consoling Rangiku.

"If you want, we can help you look for your baby's father."

Rangiku nods her head. She continues to cry.

"It's going to be okay. We'll find the father." Maury says to Rangiku as she continues to cry.

 **Up next! Is this a clear-cut case of cheating? A married couple fight each other over allegations of cheating. "Dat's not my child, woman!" "Who is it den?" "Look at me, and look at you! We iz blacker dan the night and the child is a crakah!" The shocking conclusion. Stay tuned!**


End file.
